I Am Afraid

I am afraid that I will waste my life. The little decisions that I have habitually made through life. The cheating on math the cheating on spelling when I was little was because I did not want to do hard things. The hard things in life are done because of vision. My life is slipping away because I lack vision. I perish for lack of vision. Have I let vision die? Where is vision where is the striving to do hard things in life? The times where I have sinned and treated the grace of God as freedom to sin not as something that would lead me to repentance. God I need you even in the little things. Who can change my life? Where is there any hope for me? Again and again I go down the same old easy way and see the narrow way as too difficult. God can you help me? You seem so far away. So distant and hard to find. I do not want to waste my life but I have not ever seemed to put enough into anything I have done. I wish I could put more into what I do and do 100% at whatever I do and not 80%. God I feel like I am an 80% christian and never seem to be able to make it all the way but I know God that it is your grace alone. Faith. Believe and that is the key. I believe Lord, Help my unbelief.

My Enemy

When we sign on to God’s plan for our growth, we’re declaring war on our sin nature and it fights the idea of do hard things with everything its got. The reason it’s so hard to do hard things is because our sinful flesh wants us to do easy things.

Jonathan Edwards, a great American theologian, once wrote: “The way to Heaven is ascending; we must be content to travel uphill, though it be hard and tiresome, and contrary to the natural bias of our flesh.”

http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2007/12/why-do-hard-things-part-two/